"How are you doing this evening?"

I was walking around Portland Maine today after getting some tattoo work done and I saw a woman who used to come into an old restaurant I worked at. Lunch was iced-tea, dinner was white wine. She liked her fish cooked all the way through, and never ate the entire shepherds pie. It hit me that it was almost like seeing someone you dated briefly, if she turned around would she recognize me? I have worked in so many places, known so many people that have come into my restaurants that it's like having a little black book of people you know but don't know you all that well. Most servers I imagine feel like that. We spend countless hours knowing things about our guests; allergies, birthdays, table preferences, wine tastes, favorite dishes, etc....but I know if I asked that woman I saw if she remembered me the answer would probably be no.
I get to be part of the experience, the meal, the date, the proposal, but as a stagehand rather than a lead singer. I make sure you get your food the temperature you want, the drink the way you like, but when you move, when i leave that restaurant, it may take you a while to put the pieces together "oh, where's that server with the tattoos?"
Every person that sits at my table proceeds to start a relationship with me. It's a first date for us in a way, and first impressions mean a lot. So every time I approach that table and start the sentence I will use dozens of times that night, hundreds of times in my lifetime: "Hi, how are you today/tonight?" I take a deep breath. Usually we are just meeting each other, and that first few minutes tells me a lot about you.
 If I say "Hello how are you tonight?" And your response is "I'll have a diet coke" then I know not only are you impatient, you didn't listen to me. You probably won't listen to me the rest of the night either, and when it comes time to tell you the specials I will make a point to look at you while you talk to the person next to you and rehash the conversation you had with whats-her-face about that thing that happened that time. When I ask you what you will be having as an entree you will look at me and say "Are there any specials?" because you didn't listen to me as I could tell you wouldn't when we met.
If I say "Hello, how are you?" And your response is "Great, how are YOU?" Then I instantly like you. You've noticed there is a real live person standing in front of you and the easiest way to make sure you have a great time is to treat me with a little respect and to be nice. A word to all those that dine out: JUST BE NICE. A word to all those that serve the guests who dine out: JUST BE NICE. A word to anyone starting a relationship: JUST BE NICE. Remember that there are enough terrible things happening in the world, that the easiest thing to do to make sure they aren't happening everywhere is to try to be kind. 

Anyone who works or has worked in the service industry will tell you one of 3 things:
1. It's super fun
2. It's rewarding
3. It's fucking hard.

Those of us who have chosen to STAY in the restaurant industry have done so because of all three. At the end of each shift, I can usually figure out which one of the three my night has leaned toward. Hopefully it's been more of the first 2 and less of the 3rd, but some nights it's more just fucking hard. Which is why it can be so refreshing to have someone sit at my table and straight up be nice to me. It goes a long way, and it's a lot easier than some people think.