1. I'm getting too old to be considered appropriately reckless and irresponsible...so all poor decisions made from this point forward must be solely owned by said 32 year old individual.
2. I am now old enough to be able to fully appreciate the experiences that I encounter. All things from great food to well crafted cocktails and fine wines. All things I would have never been able to comprehend, let alone appreciate at that younger, quintesential "backpack Europe" age.
In addition, I have been noticing my ambition weaning. Not surrounding food as a whole...just surrounding food for other people's profit. Because frankly they don't tend to appreciate what they are getting and I'm tired of bailing ungrateful, ignorant people out of whatever culinary debacle they have gotten themselves into. I've done this for years and it is honestly getting tiring. To the point where I have just stopped caring. Why should I care more about the integrity of your business and your food than you do?
Years ago I met a guy who has had the greatest impact and influence on my career of anyone. I met Paul Booras in late 2007 and immediately fell in love with his way of thinking. It's completely unconventional, abrasive, arrogant and dead on the money accurate. His methods are old school and more often than not they are seen as attacking and demeaning. Truth be told, they are all of those things but they're always right. Every time. But his input and his viewpoints make you reevaluate your own thought process and your own methods before continuing on whatever half-assed attempt you were about to embark on. And it was because of this that he ended up shaping a lot of the way I think about food. New concepts and philosophy's surrounding techniques and application. Different ways to think about entire cultures and their perspective on food and ingredients. Entirely new procedures for dishes I've cooked a thousand times and could have sworn I rocked at making.
And all of a sudden I begin to feel alive with excitement as I see my career and my new relationship with food taking form. I can envision the many different areas and avenues this new found passion and respect will take me. And then as I begin to hold myself with integrity I also foolishly expect others to do the same for themselves and I am continuously met with sheer disappointment.
I realize as I start applying this new manner of thinking to my food that it is actually not a widely accepted practice and that most people (customers and restaurant owners alike) just seem to want the same old shit. Chicken parmesan with panko and sliced provolone, bolognese with ground beef, sour mix from the gun, bleached french fries from the bag...the list goes on and on. And at some point you have to stop and ask yourself what the fuck you are doing this for? Why am I holding the food of your restaurant in higher regard than you are? Is it because I'm the chef and that's what you pay me for? OK, cool, then give me carpe-blanch. Let me do as I see fit so we can generate a bit of respect for your establishment and actually turn a profit. But for the love of god...don't fight with me over the small steps necessary to start moving your shit hole of a restaurant in the right direction. Because frankly I am just not going to have another conversation about why I refuse to buy tartar sauce. That is called a" waste of my time" and if we need to have that conversation than once again, I am working for another washout who just doesn't get the big picture. And I can't do that anymore. It's exhausting.
So cue Europe. The hopeful cure to my ailment. No promises but I figure at the very least it can't hurt. Maybe I'll meet another chef or eat at a restaurant that will show me reignite the spark of hope. I'm in search of the holy grail, the north star, that moment or experience that will reinforce the belief that integrity behind food can be an organic process. That it doesn't have to be synonymous with pretension. That the general public are slowly drifting othe right direction and will appreciate quality ingredients, simple presentations and can recognize proper execution. it's becoming increasingly clear however that it is entirely possible that I may need to build this model for myself. At the end of the day, I am only cooking for myself anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment